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Trying to pray

~ reflections on a life lived in the presence of God

Trying to pray

Monthly Archives: September 2012

God answers prayer–acrostic

30 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Acrostic, Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, Religion, spirituality

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This morning in worship we read from the Book of Esther.  What is most striking about the story of Esther and Mordacai is that God began answering their prayer years before they even uttered the words.  It makes me realize that when it comes to trusting God, we really need to just stop and relax and realize that when God says, “I’ve got it” he really does “have it”.  The interesting thing about Esther and Mordacai is first, that they didn’t just rush in and demand that God do something.  They agreed together that Esther and her maidens, and Mordacai and his friends would fast and pray for three days and rely on the direction that God would give them.  When that direction became clear Esther made her requests known to the king and then patiently waited for the Lord’s timing to work everything out.  Most of all I noted that when they started praying, things actually got worse for a while, but they simply trusted God and God really did “have it all under control.”  These are the big lessons of faith:  Pray for guidance…… instead of demanding that God fix it.  What does God need us to do in the unfolding of his will?  Trust with patience…. instead of complaining that things are getting worse, be patient and allow God to work it out in his will and his time.  Be ready when God needs you to do your part…. at the right time, Esther made her petition before the king, she waited on God’s timing to do so and it was the PERFECT timing.  

Today let us pray and reflect on the phrase:  God Answers Prayer

Great and holy God, Creator of the Universe
only you know the depth of our need, only you know when and how to fulfill that need
deepen our trust in you, that we will rely on your timing, and not try to force the situation according to our own will.

Align us with your will
nurture our faith, build our confidence
show us the unfolding of your hand and help us to understand your ways
whisper to our fear, shout to our defiance, calm our impatience
envelop us in your love and encourage us to trust you and you alone
re-align our will to conform with yours
send your Spirit to fill our hearts.

Prepare us to take our part in your plan for our lives and your church
render us fit for service in your kingdom
anoint us with your Spirit
yet never leave us alone, until we learn to yeild to your Spirit
encourage us in hope, require our humble service
re-energize us in your service, so that we may be useful in accomplishing your will.  Amen.

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playing with alligators

29 Saturday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, grace, Jesus, Mercy, prayer, Religion, spirituality

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This week has felt more like a month.  It may have something to do with the four (yes I said 4) alligator swamps (metaphorical swamps) that I have been dabbling in.  It may have something to do with the overwhelming and pressing need for pastoral care that has arisen among those whom I know and minister with and to.  

These situations make being close to God more crucial than ever.  Every evening I read scripture and marvel anew at the vastness and greatness of God.  The other night I was reading about the destruction of Babylon and that God, even as he was destroying the beas,t invited everyone who had been lured into her nest to come to him.  I have always known that God’s grace was immense, but in the middle of destroying the earth and all the evil thereon, he stops and offers salvation to all those who have turned their backs on God and served another.  Grace and mercy, world without end.

And of course I can see that this grace and mercy, world without end, is extended to the alligators in all those swamps that seem to have filled up my life.  These are just people and congregations who are attempting to keep a tight control on their own lives and who have stopped (or never known how to) listening for God to speak and direct them.

I know what that is like. For me it happens most often when things in my life begin to slip out of control, and then instead of trusting God, I wrestle the control out of his hands and attempt to prove that I can do a better job than he can.  And the result…. things get worse, I start snapping at the very people that try to help, I stir up the mud in the swamp so that none of us can clearly see the issues we need to deal with anymore.

For that reason, the prayers on my heart this week have been that I would remember my own sinfulness, and rely on the greatness of God’s mercy and grace as I go deeper into the swamps.  The people who inhabit them need mercy and grace.  It may be uncomfortable to help  them, and they may well lash out at me and others, but after all there is nothing there that can injure me, as long as I keep my eyes on the one who clears the way.  

And I pray that I don’t turn on God and ask him who in all creation thought I’d be equipped to be an alligator wrestler…. because if it is true that I need to be the agent of wisdom and mercy in these situations I can not afford to push God away, I really really need him very very much.

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acrostic prayer, servant of all

23 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, Religion, servants heart, spirituality

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Today in worship we read the scripture from Mark 9, where Jesus asks the disciples what they were arguing about, and they were silent, because they were arguing about who was the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.  Jesus pointed out that the greatest was the one who was the servant of all.  The greatest servant of all is of course Jesus, and we would all do well if we tried to emulate him.  Today the prayer ends with the final verse of Lord of all power by Jack Winslow.  I love that the hymn expresses that our true freedom is a freedom to be servants.  What a privilege to serve our God.

Glorious, all gracious savior
Realign our hearts and our wills
Encourage within us a servant’s heart
Adjust our thinking until it is focused only on the things of God
Teach us to listen for your voice, silence the clamor of our own voices
Establish within us a desire to love and serve you above all else
Travel with us as we walk the pathway of faith, service and blessing.

Search me, O God and know me
Encourage me in what your heart desires, that I may turn from the world to you
Renew my love for you, renew my desire to serve you
Victory is mine, only in your and in your strength
All seeing, and all knowing God immerse me in your love
Never let me go
Teach me to know the first signs that I have strayed from your path

One and only God, hear my plea
Free me to be your servant

Anoint me with your Spirit
Love your world through me
Let me sing of your love and your power over and over again until these words fill my heart to overflowng

Lord of all being, I give you my all, if e’er I disown you, I stumble and fall, but, sworn in glad service your word to obey, I walk in your freedom to the end of the way.  Help me O God, to remember that your freedom is a freedom to be a servant and that is where my joy will be found.  Amen.

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Nurture your first love

21 Friday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, grace, Jesus, prayer, Religion, spirituality

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The other day a friend and I were talking about leaders in the church who have “fallen away”.  They are absent from worship.  They no longer attend meetings.  They complain that they are tired, or that no one cares what they do, or that they can’t take the opposition from within the church any longer.  In some cases that might be true, but in other cases these people have taken up crucial leadership roles in the Lion’s Club, the Rotary Club,  the Bowling League etc.  They never miss a meeting, they never miss an event, they organize and organize  and they preach the benefits of said club/event to anyone who would care to listen.  In more advanced cases people leave the church and vow that they can worship just as well in their garden, or at the beach or on the golf course.

This problem is pervasive in the church, and not limited to lay leaders alone.  I know clergy who have lost their first love, and because of a variety of reasons struggle to bring a fresh message to worship, or even have absented themselves from meetings and other events at which their leadership and wisdom would have been appreciated.

I know, that there have been periods of time when I have felt that way.  My lament has been, “why do I bother God?  What difference am I making?  I am so tired and I don’t want to do this any more!  Those crosses on my lawn (metaphorical of course) have been put there by the people in the congregation or the people in the Presbytery and I don’t have the energy to fight any more.”  Those were days of deep spiritual struggle and even drought, brought about because my response to struggle and difficulty was to retreat into myself and to keep God at arm’s distance.

What it is, is a sign that we, leaders in the church, have lost our first love.  This is a serious problem and one that seriously tries the heart of God.  Read what he says to John during the Revelation.

“Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place. But you have this in your favor: You hate the practices of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.” (Revelation 2:4-6 RSV)

The past month or so I have been reading a book called Rediscovering the Daily Graces, edited by Robert Elmer.  What he has done is devoted time to searching for the words of the church fathers on a series of important topics for the life of the church.  He has translated those writings in a very readable and surprisingly modern and idiomatic English, which I enjoy, and which makes me think about  and ponder on the new depth of meaning that I am discovering.

Today I was reading in the section on Vocation and Christian Service and a couple of essays on the Parable of the Servants and the Talents struck a very responsive chord in me, and made me look at that parable in a whole new way.  Rather than seeing it as a problem with the stewardship and devotion to the work of ministry, these authors have written about that parable as a problem with the use of the talents of devotion, worship, and attendance to the daily graces.

14 “Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

24 “Then the man who had received one bag of gold came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25 So I was afraid and went out and hid your gold in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.’

26 “His master replied, ‘You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27 Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.

28 “‘So take the bag of gold from him and give it to the one who has ten bags. 29 For whoever has will be given more, and they will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what they have will be taken from them. 30 And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’  Matthew 25: 14-30 NIV

This is what Dwight Moody writes:

Too many believers are weak and sickly, though, because they don’t have these words carved on their hearts.  It’s bad news if your child stops growing for ten or fifteen years, right?  Well,that’s exactly what’s happening with many of God’s children.  I know some who are praying the same old prayers as they were twenty years ago.  They haven’t grown a spiritual inch in all that time.

The reason?  They haven’t done their work.  It’s that simple.  (D. L. Moody)

That I must confess that even as a minister I have had times when I have not been growing spiritually and that this had a detrimental effect on the work of ministry, makes me sad.  What makes me even sadder is that when I teach on the importance of regular daily attendance upon the spiritual disciplines people tell me that they don’t think that prayer is important.

There are times when I want to get up on a big soap box and shout through a megaphone…
Those daily discipline are important.
They are crucial.
They are your source of life, love, hope, strength.
Stop, drop and pray.
Go to worship.
Read and meditate on Scripture.
Discuss Scripture with other believers.
Draw strength from God and one another.

I want to find the words to convey to people that when I am devoted to the practice of spiritual disciplines that my strength, joy and ability to cope are  magnified.  My life is still full of the same problems as the rest of you have.  I struggle with the same distractions.  I get angry and frustrated with the church.  I get angry with God.  But in study, prayer, meditation, silence and worship I find the source of strength, peace, and purpose to keep on keeping on with God.  And when that happens I can use the one talent that has been entrusted to me and multiply it so that it goes forth and bears the fruit of God’s love in my life and the life of others.  It doesn’t get much better than that.

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Acrostic Prayer

18 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Acrostic, Chrisitanity, Christianity, God, prayer, Religion, spirituality

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I am getting later and later at posting the Sunday Acrostic Prayer.  There was so much stuff on my mind that I wanted to write about that it slipped past me.  My 100th post also slipped past me, how can it be that I have had so much to say?  Thank you for encouraging me in all that writing.  You, my readers, mean a lot to me.

So, on to the prayer.

On Sunday I used the refrain in both the prayers of worship:  

If today we hear your voice in our hearts, we vow to follow it.

It is so important not only to learn to recognize God’s voice, but also to respond to it.  To listen and go.  To listen and do.  To listen and act.  To listen and obey.  That will form the theme of today’s prayer.  Listen, go, do, act, obey.

Lord my God, today you call to me, my heart stirs in response
instill within me a silence to listen and a willingness to respond
show me the way of service
teach me the way of obedience
encourage me to accept the challenge, no matter how difficult
nudge me out of the comfortable pew and send me forth

grant me courage
offer me boldness

delight my soul with your constant presence
open my heart to allow your love to flow through

applaud my efforts, encourage me to grow
confirm that I have heard your correctly
teach me your ways

open the road before me, block off the routes that I would take on my own
beckon me to come forth in your name
encourage me with new gifts and skills
yesterday, today, tomorrow, I am yours to command.  Send me forth.  Amen.

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expectations?

18 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, prayer, Religion, spirituality, thanksgiving

Yesterday in the sermon I told the story of the greeter at the gate of a large city, whose job it was to greet and advise every visitor entering the city.

The first man came up to the gate and asked, “What are the people in this city like?”  The greeter, being a wise man asked, “What were the people like in the city you last visited?”  The man answered, “they were rude, surly and unhelpful.”  The greeter answered, “You will find them much the same here.”

A second man came up to the gate and asked the same question.  Again the greeter asked about the people in the last town.  The answer, “They were helpful, cheerful and co-operative.”  The greeter answered, “you will find them much the same here.”

Isn’t that the truth.  Angry, difficult people end up being lonely and bitter.  Cheerful, thankful people will likely find themselves surrounded by many friends and enjoy many pursuits.  In other words we reap what we sow.  But it can also be said that we see what we expect.  If we expect a problem in a situation, we can usually find them.  If we expect people to be rude and disruptive then we will find people who fit that description.

What strikes me is that we can say all those same things about our view of God.  We all know people who believe that God is angry, judgmental, vengeful and they want nothing to do with him.  Yet we believe God to be loving, gracious and kind.  It is all in how you look at it.

Now sometimes God has taken a few high handed tactics to get my attention and there have been times when he has hauled me up short because of my behavior.  But then as a parent I have done the same thing with my daughter… it’s called I love you too much to let you continue on the path you are on.

What I think is truly the saddest thing about the church, however is that we can often appear to the outside world as rude, surly, unwelcoming.  Heck, sometimes we aren’t even loving to one another.  Is it any wonder that people are not attracted to our congregations?  

I believe that it is imperative for all of us to so align ourselves with God’s will that we express his love in our words and actions.  How we handle difficult situations speaks volumes about our relationship with God.  We all have problems in our family lives, we know pain, disappointment and grief.  Yet if we handle those situations with grace, hope and YES, even joy we speak volumes about the trust that we have in God’s providential care.

What I am discovering about my journey through life right now, with my professional disappointments and my family stressors, is that I have a choice about how I go about greeting each day and coping with each situation.  I have chose to keep my relationship with God strong, and I am reaping the benefits of that decision and the behaviors that have resulted from it.  In addition I have been blessed by a wonderful network of friends who have loved me and supported to me and listened to me when I needed to cry, but through it all I say God is good all the time.  All the time, God is good.

When I enter the city, the church, the next alligator pit, whatever is next on my horizon, I will take with me the attitude that God is good, and that I will find people who love him and serve him, and who will be supportive, loving and gracious in our relationship with one another.  Won’t I be disappointed and hurt?  Perhaps.  But more importantly I will continue to be blessed and loved and live in Grace.  It just doesn’t get better than that.  Thanks be to God

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attitude adjustment

16 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, spirituality, worship

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Friday started off poorly.  It was grey, dark, dull, and pouring rain.  On what is normally my day off, I had nursing home services to conduct.  May attitude to put it mildly was very poor.

I don’t always have a good reception in nursing homes, often the patients with dementia pose a real problem and can be very disruptive.  I once had a woman shout at me every time I spoke, saying, “Shut the *(^%&^$ up, you don’t know what the hell you are talking about.”  She of course was in a wheelchair jammed into the corner and it was even more disruptive as the staff took everyone out, removed the woman and brought everyone back.  While it has never been that bad since, going to nursing homes is not really on  my favorite list of things to do.

So Friday all I wanted to do was curl up and go back to bed, which seems like the only appropriate  response to the weather.

Instead I dragged myself off  to the first service.  The staff were gracious and welcoming, and as overworked as they are, it took them a few minutes past the “official” start time to bring everyone in.  I was happy to relax and wait.

The hymns went as they always do with a room full of deaf people, everyone singing at their own meter and sometimes to a different tune.  Thankfully God commands us to make a joyous noise not a tuneful noise.  I am always careful to choose hymns that are well known, but with people from such diverse backgrounds it is not always easy.  And then something happened that simply made my day….

After the sermon one of the residents applauded.  In over 20years I have never had one of my sermons applauded.  I choose to believe that its because polite church behavior dictates solemn, silent attention to the preacher’s words, but that applause was such a spontaneous reaction that I had to smile.  And the look of utter joy on that man’s face was priceless.  Whatever happened between him and the Holy Spirit must have been amazing.  Gratefully, I was in the place where the Holy Spirit could use me.  Oh what I would have missed had I stayed in bed.

Then at the second service the person setting up the CD for the hymns was having obvious trouble, and the staff bringing in the residents were overwhelmed and asked if I could wait a little while longer ….. where did I have to go.  Waiting was not a problem.

It was a small group and we all sat together in a circle and worshiped.  There were glitches with the CD player, but it was all good.  I was just happy to be there and happy to know that the Holy Spirit was free to work through me.

After worship the residents and the staff spoke to me about how meaningful the message was.

Really, two profound places where the response to a job I didn’t want to do, was overwhelmingly Spirit filled?

I realize upon reflection that all we really need to do is put ourselves out there.  Even when our attitude stinks, like mine did on Friday, God can and will still work.  And that makes me grateful.  My day was changed and blessed and the days of the others were changed  and blessed and all because God chose to work through me despite my attitude.  Now if that doesn’t require an attitude adjustment, I don’t know what does.

May God work through me more often and may I grow to become a more willing servant.

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Aside

God’s rainbow love..

13 Thursday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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blessing, Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, Promise, Rainbow, Religion, spirituality

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In Genesis, chapter 9 we read this promise from God, given to us following the flood that destroyed the whole earth.

I establish my covenant with you, that never again shall all flesh be cut off by the waters of a flood, and never again shall there be a flood to destroy the earth.’ God said, ‘This is the sign of the covenant that I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for all future generations: I have set my bow in the clouds, and it shall be a sign of the covenant between me and the earth. When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds, I will remember my covenant that is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall never again become a flood to destroy all flesh.  (NRSV)

Whenever we see that rainbow it reminds us of God’s promise, but the more important thing is that the rainbow reminds God of his promise.  We know  that God will remember, but he also wants us to realize that the reminder of his promise is always in front of him.  Then the other night as I was engaged in my evening reading of Scripture I marveled at this passage in the Book of the Revelation, chapter 4

And he that sat was to look on like a jasper and a sardine stone: and there was a rainbow round about the throne, in sight like to an emerald.  New King James

It struck me that God designed his throne in such a way that he was reminded not only daily, but hour by hour and minute by minute that his love for us was overwhelming, and that no matter how angry we make him, (and we do) he will never again destroy us or our habitat.  The reminder of God’s grace is always in front of his face, both in the rainbow and in the Lamb who is seated to his right.

No matter how much I learn about the depth and breadth of God’s love, every single time I learn more I am amazed all over again at how much greater that love is than I can ever know.  That realization in comforting, humbling, and encouraging.  God loves me, regardless of how I behave to him and to others.  I have done nothing to deserve that love and I can do nothing to continue to deserve that love.  I also note that there is nothing I can do that will cause that love to be withdrawn from me…nothing, ever.

My prayer is that I will grow more loving until the love I have to give begins to resemble the love that God gives.  This, I realize, is the work of a lifetime.  But what else do I have to do that is as important?

Let us never forget that God’s love is immense and eternal.

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Too Blessed to be Stressed

12 Wednesday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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blessing, Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, Religion, spirituality

Yesterday was an overwhelming day for me, and others.  As one person put it, he felt like he had been blindsided by the events as they unfolded.  We still have to meet the challenges of those problems and with wisdom and compassion do what will be best for all the parties involved.  We will certainly need to rely on God’s wisdom.   Yesterday I prayed for that wisdom and compassion as I prepared for last night’s meeting.

At the meeting we began with a reflection on being those who act with the love of God for one another, and then we dealt with the business of the meeting.  We had many serious issues on the agenda, including one of those situations I mentioned yesterday in which a difficult decision needed to be made.  The people gathered at that table discussed with concern, compassion and a balanced view of all sides of the problem, and then very wisely decided that the course of action to follow was to be tempered by grace.  I had  gone expecting a tough night, and it was but God was present and  that made a big difference.  When I came home I was not nearly as stressed as I had expected to be when I left home.  

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As I relaxed by watching some TV one of the contestants on a show I watched, commented on  the difficulty in his life and how people keep wondering why he isn’t more stressed.  He said it really was simple.  He was too blessed to be stressed.   As I pondered those words I realized that this is true for me as well.

As difficult as last night’s meeting was, the blessing of God was clearly in evidence, the peace, love and wisdom of God prevailed.  That blessing went a long way to ease the  stress that I was feeling.  

I think  that maybe I have found new words to live by, words that I hope I can remember whenever life  throws curve balls  at me.  I am too blessed to be  stressed.  Praise be to God.

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Easy Job

11 Tuesday Sep 2012

Posted by ena in Prayer

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Christianity, God, Jesus, prayer, Religion, spirituality

Like most clergy the old joke I hate the most is:  You only work one day a week.  Over the years it gets more and more difficult to laugh along with the people who poke fun at what I do as something that is easy and requires minimal effort.  I WISH.

Today is one of those days.  I have spent the whole morning on the phone.  There are difficult situations that need, nay DEMAND attention.  Today I have been in discussions about three situations in which difficult and sometimes hurtful decisions will have to be made.  No matter how much you do for others, how many ways you find to help them out, sometimes the call of the church requires that some hard demands be made on people.

It is only noon and I am exhausted.  I want to run away and sit by the lake and pretend that I don’t have any responsibilities.  I want a new job, maybe one that includes the phrase, “do you want fries with that?”  

But I am called by God to work in his church.  I hold a position of responsibility and even worse Scripture points out that because of my calling, my responsibility is even greater.  So I cannot run away. All that I can do is run to God for the assistance that I need to get  through the next few days.

I still have the afternoon to go, and then a meeting tonight and then tomorrow more discussions about what now seems like an impossible situation.  On days like this I am more than grateful that God gives us grace and mercy in abundance.

All I can do today is pray;

God may your mercy be shown in all I do.
God may your grace flow through all I do.
God may your wisdom direct my thoughts and actions.
God may your love prevail.
God may your strength uphold me.

 

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