Yesterday I had a Sunday off from preaching in the congregation where I supply because they had a special speaker for their anniversary. So I headed off to another congregation celebrating their anniversary where my friend Becky (who blogs at http://www.ministrytomotherhood.com ) was the guest preacher. She spoke on the necessity of all of us to keep being reborn in the Spirit, to keep renewing our spirit’s in the will and the way of God.
As I continue to think about that Sermon and the ways in which it spoke to me, I have also been reflecting on my speech and speaking in the last few weeks. It is no secret that I am getting tired of unemployment. I am feeling at times restless, and despondent. I also feel hopeful when contacted by new congregations and then devastated when they choose another. I feel affirmed by the feedback I am getting at the congregation where I am supplying…. and then I wonder why if everybody loves me I still don’t have a place to go….. and I am starting to assert what I want, and suggesting that it is time God gets in line….Seriously; and although I have used the words jokingly, I am certain that in my doubt, fear, uncertainty and despair that there really is a kernel of truth in this being a serious statement on my part.
I have committed to the people in Strathroy until the end of December and then MY PLAN is to take some time in January and visit my grandchildren, followed by beginning in a new congregation on February 1…. that’s my plan, my hope, my desperate desire. I am not so sure that I am willing to allow there to be another pathway.
And yet… as a friend reminded me this morning, to submit to allowing God to continue to heal and teach me and continue unemployment may be what is best… and even as I rebel against that advice, I know in my heart that submitting to God’s will is the only solution, whatever that will may be.
And so that sermon about continually being renewed in the Spirit and continually being prepared for the new challenges of ministry and service that God has prepared speaks to me in this wilderness time. My prayer is that I be submitted in a healthy spiritual way and that the Holy Spirit be my guide and my inspiration.
Spirit of life and hope
Unless you lead me I stumbe in the wilderness
Bring me forth in your newness of life and calling
Make my way plain, so that I see only what you are calling forth in me
Instill in me in the confidence and hope that can only result in knowing and following your will
Teach me the patience I need to trust you completely. Amen.